Snake on Windshield

"$kaycog" (skaycog) 08/29/2013 at 12:50 • Filed to: None

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I'm petrified of snakes and would not be this calm. I would be screaming or crying or, more than likely, both.

Joe_Limon > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 12:52

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just don't accidentally hit the convertible retract button!

$kaycog > Joe_Limon 08/29/2013 at 12:52

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Oh, Lord! I'd just die then.

The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123 > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 12:54

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Hit the wipers!

Joe_Limon > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 12:54

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Equally terrifying would be if it slithered into the cabin air filter box.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 12:57

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Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger
A big ol' snake - snake a snake oh it's a snake!!!!

Casper > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 12:59

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Just check to see if he's a viper and if he isn't, toss his ass off.

6cyl > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:00

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This is why cars need ejector seats.

See ya later snake

$kaycog > Joe_Limon 08/29/2013 at 13:01

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True story.......a couple of year ago at my local Ford Store, a salesman found a harmless snake in the engine compartment. The showroom floor emptied to go look at it, but none of the guys would touch it. A female customer picked it up and took it to a vacant field in back.

$kaycog > 6cyl 08/29/2013 at 13:02

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Of course, that's the logical answer. I don't know why I didn't think of that.

ncasolowork2 > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:02

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Can you hide the picture in the thread? It is scaring me.

ttyymmnn > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:02

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A couple of years ago, I was sitting at my computer by the back window when I heard a thud right outside on the deck. I turned, and saw this. It's a Texas Rat Snake ( Pantherophis obsoleta lindheimeri), probably at least 3 feet long. Perfectly harmless to you and me, but not so much to rats. They are one of the most beneficial snakes out there. But it still gave me the heebie-jeebies.

$kaycog > ncasolowork2 08/29/2013 at 13:08

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Here.........hold my hand.

$kaycog > ttyymmnn 08/29/2013 at 13:11

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I know snakes are beneficial and would never kill one (it's hard to kill a snake when running 50 mph the other way). That rat snake is beautiful and I love looking at snakes, but thanks to my big brother, they freak me out. When we were kids, he used to chase me with a garter snake and threaten to put it down my neck.

Joe_Limon > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:11

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like a boss

McMike > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:14

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Mmmmm Hot Pocketssssssss

ttyymmnn > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:15

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Sounds like your brother took his job seriously and did it well.

$kaycog > McMike 08/29/2013 at 13:15

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Eew.......that gives me chills.

$kaycog > ttyymmnn 08/29/2013 at 13:23

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Yes, he did! Best big brother in the world!

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:37

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Had you hit the wiper stalk, the car gods may have sentenced you to drive (eternally) the world's worst car imaginable.

Crocket Bernet > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:38

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CKeffer > ttyymmnn 08/29/2013 at 13:39

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Yeah, one of those found it's way into my apartment when I was in Nacogdoches attending SFA. Those suckers get damn big! What happened with me was that it had been beautiful outside, so I left my sliding glass door to the porch open, but had the screen door shut to keep critters out, I later found out that there was a hole at the bottom of the screen and evidently my apartment seemed warmer to the snake than the ground outside. I'm really not sure when the snake made it inside, since I was in and out that door all day, but it wasn't till that night that I discovered my new reptilian roomate. I was on my computer that night when heard the blinds click together, I turned around and didn't see anything. So, I dismissed it as the a/c turning on....untill they clicked together again more forcefully. I turned around again and didn't see anything this time either, untill I looked down and saw one, slightly larger than the one you have pictured, stretched out against the blinds right behind me. Evidently at this point I temporarily gained the ability to teleport, because I don't remember how I got to the other side of the room, just that one second I'm siting in my desk chair, and the next I'm on the other side of the den. I try calling some friends to help me out (at this time I had no idea what kind of snake it was, just that there was a big ass snake in my apartment), but they were no help since they were either out of town or too chicken (or too drunk/stoned) to come help me out. Then I tried calling the office, and they sent someone from maintenance....who was less than no help. Not kidding, the maintenance guy (a really tall, but really scrawny black guy with his pants so low that the only way I can figure that they stayed up was that he had them glued in place, or had discovered anti-gravity) knocks on my door and the ensuing conversation went thusly:

Him: Man, you got a snake in here?

Me: Yeah, can you help me get it out?

Him: Man, I hate snakes, I ain't gettin anywhere near that shit

Me: *rolls eyes* then move

At this point I got the idea to try and move the snake with my broom....this is not successful and the snake is thinking "I'm quite happy where I am, would you please stop poking me with that thing?". So I try flippin the broom over and picking it up with the handle. This actually works.....kinda. I can move the snake, but only a short distance before it slides off, so using typical male logic, I decide to put more force behind my efforts. The result was a snake that got 2 flying lessons; the first was across the den to the entry way, and the second was out the door and down the hill right past the face of the inept/useless maintenance guy who let out the most shrill scream I've ever heard a man produce outside of a Chris Tucker movie. Found out later that, as you said, it's a rat snake and it's more or less harmless, but I didn't know it then and I wasn't going to get close enough to the snake to ask.

CKeffer > McMike 08/29/2013 at 13:40

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Yeah...that's a big, long, slithery nope right there.

KillerRaccoon - Group J's Sébastien Loeb > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 13:47

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You're never safe .

$kaycog > Crocket Bernet 08/29/2013 at 13:58

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Vicious little critter!

$kaycog > KillerRaccoon - Group J's Sébastien Loeb 08/29/2013 at 13:59

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OMG! That's really something!

zachaput > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 14:00

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$kaycog > zachaput 08/29/2013 at 14:03

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That's too ridiculous! I wonder if he was under the influence of something.

magman007 > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 15:08

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ensure sunroof closed, hit the gas, and hit the wipers. Maybe spray for good measure.

$kaycog > magman007 08/29/2013 at 15:10

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While screaming the whole time.

It's a "Porch-uh" > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 15:51

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13 discussions, and nobody has made a Snakes on a Plane reference?

I'm shocked.

$kaycog > It's a "Porch-uh" 08/29/2013 at 16:05

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I thought the same thing!

SteyrTMP > $kaycog 08/29/2013 at 18:27

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Meh, I've always liked snakes... I have a habit of doing things first, worrying about consequences later, sometimes.... I've grabbed snakes more than once. Usually, I get it correctly, right behind the head, and don't get bitten, but I've been bitten once or twice. Thankfully, after being bitten, I've looked them up to be nothing more than garder snakes or black snakes.

I remember, back when I had my Mini, it appeared that there was something trickling from under the engine bay. I hadn't driven it that morning, if I remember correctly, so I went closer to see what was wrong.... that "trickle" was a 5-6 foot black snake. Grabbed it, put it in a garbage can to show my dad when he got home.

Back when I lived with them, I also remember hearing a water noise in the ceiling (the older half of the house, including the family room and my bedroom, had drop ceilings), so I popped a panel up, and looked... to see another 6+ foot black snake cruising along the ceiling. I tried to follow it, but lost it eventually. They somehow managed to find a way in the house, because I remember finding a long snakeskin hanging from a crack in the concrete in the basement...

$kaycog > SteyrTMP 08/29/2013 at 18:48

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I have a fascination for snakes and that's the first place I want to go see when at a zoo. But, I don't want to be close to one without a barrier of some kind between us. Interesting stories about your black snakes.